Peter Dragontail has a tale so long it would make Tolstoy jealous.

He is People Magazine’s Most Interesting Person of the Future and Time Magazine’s Sexiest Thing To Ever Walk the Face of The Earth. He has 7000 Platinum albums all of which have been encrusted in diamonds, put into an indestructible time capsule and shot into the core of the Earth where they will remain until the end of all time. He has written seventeen autobiographies all of which have been translated into forty seven languages. Peter has won two Nobel Prizes; one for making Extravagant and Unwarranted Claims and the other For Innovative Use of Capitalization on AOL Instant Messenger Spurring the misCapitalization Craze of the early 90’s.

When not working on the Large Hadron Super Collider under the Swiss-French border, Peter spends his time in Philadelphia, creating clandestine synth pop, designing flyers and marketing collateral for local musicians and trying his best not to let this massive amount of success go to his head.